拍旁边的那组照片的时候非常尴尬，
其实被拍的时候常常希望pose的专业一点，
但每当只要一抬头，
面部表情常会返回到痴笑状态，
搞不清到底在傻笑什么，
我可以做没有脸的model。

最近事情开始变的越来越复杂，
同ben也开始有了隔阂，
谈到how to deal with the relationship.
他的那套理论让我愤怒。


Ben: I've done things with different people who I consider very good and close friends. But I have always been clear that I value the friendship first, and that I can't make a commitment. that could hurt people who want a commitment, but I'm being honest with them, and I have always been honest, The few times that I have commited, it has been a real commitment -- I got engaged once.and for different reasons it didn't work. But I'm very careful with how I treat other people in relationships,wether friendship or commitment.

Vanilla: why it sounds so complicated? Is complex true? I mean, I want to be honest and honesty is many times simple. the reason why traditional values were simple is because life was simple back then.

Ben: life is not simple now.

Vanilla: sociaty is complicated. life is still simple.u could hv simple relationship in a complicated sociaty, whats wrong with it?

Ben: either you're commited or it's not simple.And I only want to commit when I can fully and honestly do that, with traditional values, your parents would choose who you commit to, and it's done -- that's simple.

Vanilla: all right. so ur opnion is like even u dating a gal a lot, u 2 were making out even hv sex. u still cant fully and honestly face the relationship right?

Ben: ok, I think there's just a definition mix-up here. you're either friends with someone, or you are commited to that person and only that person. there are degrees of friendship (close friend, best friend), and there are degrees of commitment (boyfriend, husband). but that's all there is,dating is just friends ,if you use the word like you just did,if there's no commitment,a commitment is basically in order to see if you could be married to someone (or it should be). if you can't, you break up, if you can and it works out, you get married. but it should build from friend and go through every level. that's how I see it.

Vanilla: ok, then tell me what u think if a guy ask me to be his gf before we are friends (the FRIENDS u just defined)

Ben: that seems like a normal thing to do. as you get older, it's less common, but that's just because people get weaker. it's a good thing to wait unti the commitment is in place before expressing things physically. but you should be good friends with someone before you ask them to be your gf. and it's tough for some people to be that close and not make out. if he's asking you to be his gf and you're not good friends, I don't think that's a good thing.

Vanilla: bullshit!!!

对他，我已经出离愤怒了。