despite having talked about it, i remain in a very foul mood. but at the same time, what exactly is this "it"? what is it that i'm annoyed/ upset about exactly? perhaps i think too much; expect too much; worry too much. and i don't trust (God) enough. i lack faith. i can only hope and pray to snap out of this state soon and become my usual happy self again.
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i've been in an incredibly bad mood. terribly bummed. i think i know the reason; but somehow i think i'm trying hard to tell myself that that is not the reason. i don't want to be unreasonable or expect too much; but at the same time, am i? well, in comparing myself with others, i don't think i am. but maybe i'm wrong. i've always considered myself to be straightforward and frank - i don't believe in keeping things to myself. but now when honesty's required, i just can't seem to be honest. i mean, i don't even really know what to say, or how to say it. ah. whatever.
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every year, come this time, i look back and feel it's amazing how the year has passed so quickly. every christmas, i never fail to think to myself, "oh man, i still remember the last christmas..." and i do. last christmas, i remember i was at home talking to someone via sms. somehow, i felt too sick to eat our very yummy christmas dinner. i also felt unsettled. and i gave midnight mass a miss. with the blink of an eye; it's christmas time again. this time, i'll probably be talking to that same person via sms. but i dont imagine feeling too sick to eat. don't imagine feeling unsettled either. and i'm definitely going for midnight mass. (i just hope i wont have too much (if any) work over this christmas season! *xx*)
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"this is to remind me that i have a manly and fierce girlfriend." THANKS
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勁愛你. 勁勁勁~ oh, and on a seperate but related note, i also 勁愛-d "star dust". very muchly.
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i am very happy today. thanks. :)
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i am like. totally, absolutely bummed. like out of the blue. and i feel i can't function. and i don't wanna do anything 'cept sleep and be oblivious to whatever is bugging me.
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"faith is not about jumping to conclusions; it is concluding to jump". and so I am still deciding whether to take the leap. for the second time.
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yup. today i officially turn 23. twenty freakin three. boooo~ i remember being 19 and thinking 23 was old. haha. oh well, such is life. anyway, october's a month of bdays for me. mine aside, my mom's and dad's bdays are in october as well (my dad's a day after mine, while my mom's on the 25th). and so it signals a time of wonderful dinners and expanding tummies (as if i have not put on enough weight - yup, a sure sign of aging). i'm looking forward to tonight's family dinner though. i absolutely LOVE buffets =) well, though hardly any of my friends have this blog add (because i am private and antisocial and i want to hide); i'd like to say this anyway: thanks muchly everyone for your bday greetings! (oh, on a seperate note: i spent 40mins waiting with someone for a cab in chinatown last night. for a large part of the time we were standing at a pole watching cars go past. it felt sooo "sleeping prince". hurhur.)
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and that familiar feeling of "mo yuen mo fun". *during an msn conversation earlier tonight* CLAIRE: omg i am such a bad friend! CAL: No la CLAIRE: i just don't want to talk about this anymore.. i'm sick and tired of it CLAIRE: seriously, someone complaining to me about relationships is like me complaining to you, "cal i think i don't have enough money" CAL: LOL. you bitchy slut! CLAIRE: but it's true! you can totally analogize it that way. CAL: ya.
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