What a day! He's totally a assssshole jerk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm confused even if he's like that, what i'm supposed to do. I'm truely stuck in a complicated situation, don't know what to do now well, after he replied me on facebook after so long..a year and half, I wanted to see him so badly, but didn't what to say when i actually see him!! that's what I was thinking about the whole day yesterday! and it ended up awefully, he didn't not show up. I want to know why, at least why he's done it, playing me? well, i geniunely thought he's a gooooood person!! well ,he wasn't that nice after all.I was really hurt after what happened,really. when i was calling Xiaoxin, I cried quietly he wouldn't have heard and also because of the sound of wind by the sea side!! I thought we had an agreement that we'll meet at around 1pm at hove station,he told me he had time 1pm-4pm.so when i texted him that i am still at bellerbys, so 1pm hove station,however he replied me back ,said that he'll text me when he finishes work. omg, i thought ok....then i continued hanging around in bellerbys,and went to hove with no.7 bus..text him that i'm here let me know, then no reply..... I kept waiting ,walked to hove park, passed Alex's flat, (my second hostfamily in brighton). very sunny!! just killing time. wasting time,to be exact. However, he didn't reply at all.... I went to hove centre, walking around,at 5pm ,i finally texted him, ''you don't have time to meet me ,do you? please let me know at least. Thank you'' well, oddly he replied immediatly,what a jerk,because of my weird attitude that presented in the text??!! michael: can you meet me at sea front,the one next to kings alfred me: is king alfred the leisure centre? no reply no messages... I was having an headache when thinking of him.. feeling sick ...was thinking about all the possible scenarioes that could take place when i see him...i wanted to know so eagerly why he didn't contact me and tell me what happended in his life,just simply let me know that he doesn't want to have anything to do with me any longer. it's simple and no one will get hurt. that asshole should have done that,so that i wouldn't think anything ...i would understand and stop sending emails to him...I wouldn't think of him once and while...I wouldn't expect anything from him...I wouldn't want him to like me back ...I would have moved on...moved out of the life that he was in !!!!!!!!!!!!!! that jerk!!!!! I hate him!!!! I really deeeeeeep down in my heart, I thought he's nice,woundn't have done sth like this to me, I still coundn't believe he's done it actually!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well,let me continue first. so I went to sea front around 6pm, waited waited...early spring in Brighton still a bit chilly..windy..cold to be honest...waiting waiting.. 7pm...waiting..I called Xiaoxin, he asked me to call him,call him call him, i said no ,i don't want to call him, i 'm afraid ..i don't want to .. sunset...beautiful sunset..my heart was melt...amazing ,the sun was literately round!!!!!!!!!! pick !!!!!!! so i put myself together and called him, i was shocked that it went into voicemail service! omg, can you imagine what i was thinking at that particular moment, i really cried ..in the heart... called again...same...ok i told xiaoxin what happed, he said 回去你的伦敦吧 恩，我回去我的伦敦。。 我不敢相信一切就这么结束了。。 告诉nina，大头，NINA也根本没想到会这样结束。 他是个傻逼，骗子，BIG FAT LIAR！！！！ JERK！1！！！！！！！！！！ 我再也不要相信他了。。。回到家,把他从FACEBOOK删除了。。JOANA让我这么坐的，但是手机没有删除。。。不知道为什么。。 今天起床很晚，起来已经下午了，居然收到他的短信， MICHAEL: where are you i've been waiting please let me whether you're coming or not ME: what are you talking about?I've been waing the whole day!! it was you who didn't show up!!? MICHAEL:when did you recieve my messages? I waited also missing you now. ME:I've just received the last two messages!! i texted you ,no reply. I called you ,no answer. I waited at hove and then sea front kings alfred. there was no sigh of you. i was there till 8pm, so there you go ! MICHAEL:it's strange to just recieve it now. I want to see you asap! ME: michael, i'm busy and i don't think i'll take it again if sth like yesterday happeds again. i was rally hurt becasue of you not showing up. If you are in london for some reasons next time, we could meet up though. sorry michael, i don't know if i can trust u any more.. NO REPLY!!!!!!!!!! ME:micael, why didn't you simply let me know that you didn't want to see me? I would understand really.. you shoudn't have bothered replying my messages in the first place then! i really don't understand. NO REAPLY! 没有回复已经不是什么新奇的事情了。。 他怎么可以这样。。如果问宝林，他一定会说他肯定觉得内疚，但是不敢告诉我，而且还有妻子孩子，所以即使想见我，又不敢，所以干脆没有来。。。哈哈哈。。可以啊，我可以接受，但我的要求不高，仅仅希望他但是4点钟的时候告诉我他今天不能来见我了，或者说根本就不要回复我当时在FACEBOOK发的信息！！！ 天，现在感觉全是我的错误，当初不应该在FACEBOOK 留言，不应该和TOBY聊天，一切也许不会发生。但我清楚地知道，如果昨天没有去BRIGHTON，我一定会后悔，我不想做后悔的事。好的。他已经结婚了，我知道，有孩子了，我也知道。只不过，只是听TOBY一个人说的，所以我才想去见他，听他告诉我发生了什么事情，我想见他，但是又因为他放我鸽子了一次，我不敢了。 真的很矛盾，很纠结。。怎么办，我不能再浪费时间，金钱去见他了。如果他来伦敦，我们可以见面。不然免谈。人怎么说都有自尊，尊严的。如果我让我来布莱顿，我去了，然后他不来。 下次他再叫我来，我又去，我还算什么东西。我还是人么？我还能有什么尊严剩下？？？！我要尊敬自己，he should know that i'm a human and yes, i do have feeling ! he can't just munipulate me as he wants!!! i'm not a robot!!! Michael, you're dead to me..you're nothing..you're totally a jerk arsehole!!! i hate you!! but thank you for making me a stronger person, and clever person. i was stupid enough to wait you for whole day! I'M DONE WAITING! 从一年半他停止联系我开始，我就总是盼望，等待，希望有一天有个圆满的结束。。。等待等待，，，一年半就这么过去了。。还记得当初他问我，will you wait for me 我: yes 很傻，昨天也是一样，很天真，傻乎乎的一等就7个小时，整整一天，当时很兴奋，想到终于要见到他了，毕竟已经有两年没有见面了。。真的很想念他，我还是很喜欢他。但我知道，我们不可能了。我要学会放弃。我已经不是当初那个单纯天真的小女孩了。我从此长大了。再见童真。我思想成熟了。但是我觉得如果类似的事情再发生，我可能还是会很傻的，期待，等待爱情。 我憧憬的爱情总是美好的，甜蜜的。 但是事实却不是如此，我的爱情是苦涩的，一去不复返了。消失在布莱顿的无边无际的大海中。Michael，我永远还是喜欢你，虽然昨天是想去跟你说，我想做朋友，但没想到会这样结束。真的连朋友都做不成么？ 天啊，刚才神经病给他打电话了，居然有嘟嘟的响。。。。。。。响了两次我就吓得挂了。我当时在想什么，神经病。。。好吧，我是公认的白痴。爱情傻瓜 HOW DID I EVER GET INTO THIS???!! 我不可能做第三者，不可能，从来想都没有想过的事，不能！！！ 对待爱情，我不理智，需要镇定，变得理智一点吧。 好的，现在开始，忘掉MICHAEL，想我的SPECIAL FRIEND! LOL that's what GIGI said to me..well well..yeah...lol my special friend....hey hey hope you're alright,miss you ,hope to see you sooon~ it's weird it's been so long, and we've met twice and that's it! haha..hopefully there'll be sth interesting in the future when we're together! 学习！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！ 及格！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！
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I was checking Facebook and suddenly got a message from Michael,which was really suprising!!!!! I didn't expect this at all ,to be honest!!! as following, Hi Yuka, thanks for your message!! so great to hear from you:) where are you now?? are u in Brighton now? if you are meet me sometime soon.. would be so great to see u again let me know if u have time:) take care Michael x I was totally thrilled! very confused at the same time! When i didn't hear from him , I really wanted to meet him, 巴不得直接买张票就去BRIGHTON找他了。但是真正的听到他回复短信之后，让我找他，我不知道该怎么办了。。好复杂，只是想做一个朋友而已。。呵呵 钱刚刚到账，现在要每天记录花的每一笔钱，不管有多小。EVERY PENNY!! 不吃零食，吃健康食品，节约用钱，每天养成记账习惯。 在差不多同一时间，宝林在校内告诉我天大的新闻！！她被SOAS录取了！！！我当时看到之后真的兴奋的尖叫了！！！！！I'M SO PROUD OF HER!!SO HAPPY FOR HER! WE'LL BE TOGETHER FINALLY!!!只是学费的问题上，她要再向大学确认一下。因为她要8月底之前到达英国才可以有资格交EU学生的学费，3600磅左右，要不然她就得交12000磅，如果是这样，她就不可能来了。 昨天姨妈刚寄钱，现在就收到了，在网上一查，太快了。 今天下午正打算在厨房学习呢，就看到JOHANA,我就邀请她和GIGI一起出去散步。今天天气难得这么好！！我很兴奋！我们FLATMATES从来都没有一起出去过！we walked to the london metropolitan uni,as Gigi left her USB there. and walked to camden ,Gigi never been to anywhere else other than holloway road and victoria station,i was shocked to hear that!!!! so we showed her around the camden market and everything..then walked to regent park,it was fun, we chatted the whole way! lol we ,my flatmates and I finally have done something together!! lol spring in london still is a bit too chilly!!! Just talked to Nina on the phone,haha....it's nice to have a friend to talk to ! I'm becoming a girl now!! lol seriously need hair cut!!! Pauline!!! I'm going to live with you in london together!!!!!!!!! so thrilled!!! my best friend!!! xxxxx love you so much!!!
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Few days ago, I've just heard from Toby that he's moving to Japan in two weeks! wow... well, then I asked him if he's in getting in touch with Michael, you know just wanna know ..'cause we haven't been talking since winter in 2008...i know it's such a long time already!! Well, suprisingly , toby knows michael and told me this shocking news!!! Michael has married to a korean girl and then have a little baby!!OMG, you won't believe how i reacted! well, because it's texting he wounldn't know what i'm thinking of course..but honestly,I was in shock! Michael,for everything happended between us,why you don't just reply one little email,so that i know you're ok. well, i'm sad but at the same time i'm happy for him. He deserves it! such a lovely person! shit,can't believe i just fall into this so easily. It always happen to me, but never last.
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Content自从去年夏天在横滨见到他之后，就没有跟SHIN联系了。原本要到YORK UNIVERSITY的他，原来还在日本。。。He told me through facebook that shockingly astonishing he is still in Japan...Well,Yesterday I called him with Skype on my mobile phone..a bit nervous..but managed to call him!! -’元気？’ -’うん、ぜんぜん元気だよ’ ’-メッセージ見たよ、大体わかったけど、どういう事？’ -家族の方少し問題あった見たいで、じゃあ、今働いてるの？って聞いたら、うん、ソフトバンクでね。ふん～そうなんだ。。 -じゃあ、大学どうするの？日本で、それともイギリスに戻ってくるの？ -え？？？！帰るよ！今働いて、給料で学費払えるから。 -そっか、よかったね！！元気？ -うん、元気だよ、別に悪い方向に考えてないから、なんかありがとうね、こんなに心配してくれて、すごく感謝してるよ。 -え、ぜんぜん。。。だって友達じゃん。皆～、だって、ずっと連絡が無かったからさ～まあ～何時も無いけどね～ハハ～ -ごめんね、コンピューターが壊れて, 直しに出してたから～ -ううん～ぜんぜん大丈夫だよ~SKYPEとか使ってる？ -うん、もう直ったから、大丈夫だよ。 -そっか、うん、じゃあ～元気でね～又連絡するね～！ 慎と連絡できて、電話できて、なんかとにかく嬉しくて、嬉しくて、ドキドキして、涙が出てくるほどホットした。感動したせいか、勇気をもらった気分で元気が出た！単純で嬉しかった、単純でタダタダ好きだった、って言うか、憧れちゃったよ！！豪いよ！！えらい！！这种男人值得欣赏！！MANDY说的正中我心肝儿~~こんな人って本当の立派な男じゃない？？！！有人格魅力的男人！！ I think I'm in love...OMG just took me so long to realise this fact i've known it last year, i knew it sadly, i'm quite sure he won't feel the same way towards me.. i don't mind..just being friends is quite enough for me as this is how it is for so long.. I've got to make some changes for MYSELF, well, originally it's because of him,but it's for my own good ,isn't it? Eat healthy , do regular exercises , live a healthy lifestyle 自然而然的 I'll lose some weight,hopefully... I really mean it this time as I've been doing this over and over again and without any resonable effect...hate this me,i do ..hate myself. ugly,lazy,vicious. BUT THIS TIME WILL BE DIFFERENT!! I PROMISE. I'M DONE WITH EATING RUBBISH CRAP LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CHOOSE MY FUTURE ,CHOOSE LIFE!!! choose while you can.
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ｈｅｙ　ブー 誕生日おめでとうね！いよいよ、二十歳かよ。。 イイー達からもね。。 （あんたに、メッセッジできんから、ここで。。） 明日、もし資料が着いたら、すぐビザセンターに行って、申請に行くんだ。まあまあ、絶対遅れるけどね。。。 最近どうなの？うまくやってる？ 大丈夫？（がんばれって言うよりも。。） フランスのこと聞いたよ。 何時決めたの？（はやー） なんかの資料も、こっちに着いてるよ！ 体も注意！！！ 便秘だなんて。。。慣れてないんじゃん？？？！！ 連絡待ってマッス！ ユカピオン
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昨日、やっと日本に着きました。 さいたまは、暖かいです。でも、おばあちゃんの家は、寒いです。。。。 今日の朝ごはんも　イイーと一緒に作っよ。 あとで、住民移動届しまーす。。。。
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正好休息一下。。。 过来写点近况。。 艾。。 今天听AUGSITINA说，12月份北京已经报满了 。。 回家查了一下。。大连也满。。。巨郁闷。。 心想。。去新疆吧。。谁知。。 新疆连12月份的压根儿就没有 。。 只有11月和08年3月的 。。。OH GOD!! MUMMY明天晚上回北京。。 在谈谈吧。。 唉。。只好想在拼了 。。 两周。。。 真的 要死啊。。。 （哈。。。废话一堆。。） 管不着这么多了拉~ 明天环雅，加油！ 每天都要加油！！！ 好了。。 废话不多说。。。我还是行动吧。。。 只是嗓子痛的要命，快死掉了似的。。。。。 感冒。。终于还是找上我了啊。。。 命运。。。 之前拼命的防感冒。。。哈。。没用耶~ 西西~ 好了拉。。。 BYE THEN
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啊！！！刚辛苦写的全不见了！！疯了。。。。 最近超忙。。 第二个周末。。满天。。 昨天疯了似的。。。 跨三个去上课。。 早上宣武，之后朝阳。。然后东城。。最后宣武。。。 今等那个死56公车 大概半个小时 一看 车上人还巨多。。。。 环雅真的好棒！比新东方好多了！！ 西~说实话，聊到正题就是——————PAT拉~~ 他是加拿大籍，4岁时随父母去美国，初中时 回中国读四中，之后去美国读完大学。大学时学的是建筑！！还有心理！！好棒！好牛！！！！！呵呵~可能他给人 的感觉 有点像KEVEN吧。。所以。。也难怪我这么崇拜他，喜欢他了！！呵呵~（而且只见了第一面。。。我记他的信息倒挺快……） 他教的写作真的很棒！！！ 我会加油的！！虽然口语不是他教，我一样 会努力！！ 恩~~AZA-AZA-FIGHTING！！ 我就在这儿给自己加油好了~~ 明天雅2开始哦~~！ VINCENCE居然也在！！哈。。出乎意料。。。。。 还有26天了。。我会拼地！！西！ BLOG暂别哦！！ YUKAPION^^
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吼吼吼吼吼吼吼吼吼吼吼吼吼吼吼吼吼吼吼吼吼吼吼吼吼吼吼!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 刚才在这里飘荡了好长时间,总算是明白怎么回事了拉.... 呵呵~ TAMAI 我可没那么笨滴....西西^ 目前还是不知道字体是要怎么改变...-__-!!! 没有关系的拉,有困难才会显得这里好玩嘛... 西西~ 喜欢这里困难重重的感觉,有点象走迷宫的感觉呢....@0@ 今天上午早早的,mummy就带我去北语,踩下雅思的考点...恩.. 北语比我想象中的要好很多..所以感觉格外好... 西西.. 看来预期不能太好..希望不能太大... 不是说"希望越大,失望越大"么... 所以丫. 这样失望就不会大咯~ 可能"失望"也不会调皮的跑出来折磨你滴噢^ ...... 又跑去王府井的东方广场... 德国"博世"家电的宣传活动.. 有Dad和小姑姑的画哦~ 不错...不错.. 估计小姑姑他们也去看了吧.. ... 修电脑... 修眼镜.... (很讨厌...在车里睡觉...放地上...被沉重的电脑包包给压弯了...>_<) 又很讨厌.. 本来要在百脑汇附近的买眼镜那家店修滴... 谁知道... mummy 带着我兜了好几圈 也没有瞧见那家店的 踪影.... -_-" 失踪了...(倒闭?) 太过分了... 不过,没有关系.. 又跑到华联的那个"宝岛"去修... 那个哥哥又是出乎我的意料.... 竟然很快滴修好了!!>_< 我之前心想 "哎...我的眼镜是玩完了...才一年...寿命也忒短了点吧... 因为不是在这儿买的....那个哥哥不会负责任的丫..... 他观察完了之后,一定会跑过来说:'对不起,您的这副眼镜框太细了... 我们不能保证它不会断...' " 于是...我在那儿徘徊..干脆就等着那位大眼 哥哥过来跟我说这句话.....站在镜子面前假装看眼睛... Hoho... 他来了.. 他走过来了.. 他朝着我走过来了.. 啊... 完.. 了. "您试一下这个行不行..." 什么????!!!!!!!!!!!!! 哦...天那.. 我应该是没有听错才对... 恩... 对滴.... 于是... 不敢相信的 接过 哥哥 手中的 我亲爱的 眼镜 轻轻的试了一下... WOW~ ^~^果然就是不一样耶... 很是开心... 之前还说要带隐形呢.. 于是.. 大眼哥哥又积极的说帮我检查... 这回我总算是相信这位哥哥的实力了... 谁叫这家店门口,站满那么多工作人员... 说不定他们水平参差不齐呢..很难马上叫人相信的拉... ______检查中_______ --------检查结果---------- "不可以" 似乎早就料到了... 不过.... 心里还是咯噔了一下... 因为结膜炎... 我再次与隐形擦肩而过... 也许老天 是想让我 从此注意 用眼卫生吧... 隐形总是不卫生滴.. 这样想就很好滴.. 想开了... 眼前的视野似乎也变得宽阔起来... 明亮了... 嘿嘿^^
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突然觉得好好玩...... 原来生活可以如此多彩...... 刚才跑到Tamai滴Loves/tamai db-db 博客...... 因为人少才会有PRIVACY... 现在突然觉得这个 这么重要。。。 如果总是挤在一个地方。。。 怎么可能 会有新鲜感呐？？！ 我需要新鲜的血液！！ 是急需的！！ 太久没有释放了 的 缘故吧。。。 好长时间什么 都没有写 了...... 想说的话。。。 太多。。。 太多。。 似乎把我 嗓子 堵住了…… 不知道 该从 哪里 说起…… 好吧。 我决定了…… 以后， 我要开始在这儿勤快点喇。。 这才属于我自己的空间………… 没有 关系。。 以后 再 娓娓 道来吧。。 yukapion^^
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.... just wanna cry.. .... try to change everthing around me... but.... ... i konw that's impossible... ...... Sometimes... thing's just out of your control... .... without help ..... someone... help me..
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