after all these years struggling with the application of rational thoughts to irrational behaviour
i realise i've been so stupid to waste all the energy
it suddenly came to my mind that he's simply a control freak, an extreme one, who goes nuts when things are out of control
why couldn't one accept that the veggies hv to stay in the fridge for one night before they got cooked? is freshness that important to u?
why must u try to teach me how to operate the washing machine, which i learnt decades ago, when i'm in a rush to attend my 830 class?
i now know these questions are foolish
he couldn't stop scolding for these minor matters just because it's out of his expectation that no one's home for dinner
n because he wants to get thgs immediately done when it comes to his mind, anyone/anythg not following his mental schedule is unacceptable
it's never abt whether i do it or not or how i do it
he just wants to be a commander all the time
n it's not fun at all when a commander has nth else to command
that's why he could always pick at other thgs even though i thought i'd done a perfect job following the commands
the controlling behaviour simply will never come to an end
the more i follow, the more the commands
why should i follow then?
thinking of the victims of the control freaks in novels/short stories i learnt from my literature class, i feel lucky that i am somehow rebellious at heart
or i'd have become twisted or even a psycho
guess this epiphany is not too late
gotta rmb this by heart
just do things i believe to be right
no more struggling

p.s. haha Dr. Ki's class is really worth attending. if my intro to lit class were lectured by her, i'd hv been a lit student now:P