once born, we take the first gasp of air. this large invisible sack that fills our lungs, sometimes it hurts, sometimes it's necessary inhale, exhale and the rhythm goes on. but i've noticed that life is counted by the repetitions. as are born as consumers, even to consume things which we cannot see. we must have everything. knowledge, power, love, acceptance. not in any particular order but just to illustrate how much we seek things that should seek us. when we are scared we take in another sack, when we fall in love, another, when we search for courage, another, all this taking and not enough giving back. puzzling me. have you never noticed how good a deep breath feels? to take in something and give it right back ten fold. the feeling doesn't come from the oxygen you're intaking. but the ability to let that go. try it, which feels better? by the time we die, we let go of everything that we have held ever so closely to us. we dont end our lives with an inhale, finally we feel good about ourselves because we have no more weight. how ironic is this? we are born to take in everything but never enough to make us truly happy. only when we learn to let go of what we care about gives us full pleasure. death and all his friends.
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tired of repeating myself. my words lose meaning after three. can't apologize for your lost anymore. it is your life to live not mine. i will never regret my decisions. you'd never thought i'd do this would you? but i did. what i see now is... a ghost is what you are. what a beautiful soul you were, and i have forgiven myself for my wrongings. and that is good enough for me. so keep chin up and open your eyes, you can still live with us. let go of the seeds and plant them. iam no longer haunted by you. so dont do anything stupid.
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KILL ME, KILL ME LATER, NONE THE LESS, I'LL BE DEAD.
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we are the runaways. perfectly titled for us. so put on your best sneakers, cause it's gonna be a long way. there's no telling how far we'll go, to get what we want. what do we want? i have no fucking clue, but im sure it'll be the most amazing time to find that out with you. something we must do. i have your back, and you have mine. we'll carry each other along. you run, and i'll run with you too. this entire wild journey will leave us gasping for air. take my breath away will you? crimson and clover.
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every year, around this time, it is a time for celebration in my world. a celebration for the forthcoming of a new year, a new harvest, new beginnings. however, every year, new also means put on your sneakers and just run for your lives. i do not choose for the world to be this way, i do not want the days to go by like this. as the rest of the world around me celebrates in joy. the people around me suffer. every year i apologize. and i am not forgiven for what i've caused. but it's out of my control to bring them down so hard when it should be the highlight of their lives. every year, around this time, i become a stone on a pathway. i become small and blend in the crowd. one motion and it will break the sequence. i dont make sudden movments, noises, actions, thoughts. i do not want anything to happen, so i stand still. it's been a week. and i hvnt apologized. im sorry. hopefully next yr will be a brand new beginning.
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it's been a while since. no matter how tough it has been, how much stress ive put on to myself. i've been putting it off. and not letting it bother me. "looking on the bright side" but tonight, im sick of it. im tired of this. i dont wanna be that person anymore. no, not again. i want to do everything for you. but what for? sometimes i forget what the reason is. i totally regret going back there. did i know this was coming? no not really. the timing was just too good. perfect place, perfect time, the perfect person. let the net catch all the fish in the ocean and leave nothing for others. i need to get this out to you. before im too late. or you fall too far. but seems to me, patience is in our way. as i remember the days were i was being dubbed with nicknames like "impatient master" as a child, i now step down from that title for you. this is my world now, playing the waiting game. how much longer? i'll just sit back and enjoy the show. cause.
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this is my world. i can do whatever i want in it. let whoever i want into it. but that's not all there is. i look below my feet and there is another world. another dimension that contains nothing i desire for. in my world, i can control everything that goes on there. every breeze and how long it lasts is in my hands. iam not trying to be this god of this place. but only to be free and in control of my own actions and movement. i want to be the god of myself. im currently living in your world. abandoning this place will leave you no reason for survival. because iam apart of what you control. if one day, you realize, that iam not within your empowerment anymore, this world of yours will disfunction, and break down. we're interconnected on dependency. however, your world will die and salvage. and that's when a whole new world begins.
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how do i let you know i miss you so? scream until oxygen fills my lungs once again. im cold and empty. how do i make up for lost time? hold on tight until we are the only ones around. im losing touch. how do i know you will be coming back? keep burning until there is nothing left. im falling apart. but until then, i will keep loving you the way i always have. you are right there in the centre of it all, and im giving you all of me.
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a lonesome cardinal was sitting on a tree, waiting for the right time to flee. just as it was about to spread its wings, a beautiful blue songbird landed and started to sing. entranced by her, cardinal decided to stay to right there. mid summer july, cardinal still listens right on by. now, the weather is changing, the little red bird had realized something. songbird has saved a soul with her tunes. saving many faces of the moon. never will i lose faith again. because you are my miracle. all you did was save my life. my life is indebted to you. this day marks the day, the day i first called you my love, mr. mercury sings "somebody to love". we are not fancy people, we do not need diamonds and limosines, because we already have the rarest gift of all. as the clouds above are my witness, i will always listen to the songbird sing. mahal kita.
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yeah really dont even try stopping me. cuz im never gonna budge. im like a rock. im like glue. i guess the song explains it much better than i do. [for hollyoli]
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i cant go one day. just one day! without wanting to punch you in the face. fuck guy, open your eyes and see who you're dealing with now. look around you and observe how the world works. times have changed, so if you evolve with it, no one can help you anymore. consider this an extreme warning like how ive always warned you. shut up! and leave me alone!
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when you have something you want to say, but you can't tell anyone or anything. let someone else do it for you. put on 20 pounds of clothes. put on your headphones. close the door. pretend you're the biggest star in the galaxy. and just explode in your own stardom. pulling off layers as you go. burst off the weight. and let the energy transform into the words you wanna scream. be it loud. be it whispers. much too many are not said. just take it off. bare to care, the skin you're showing. the cells on your face will tell each story. create this energy and burn the carpet. do it until it hurts and you're on your knees. beggin for mercy. but you just cant stop, until the songs over. you'll find it in between each drum beats and strum. pause for dramatic effect and... let it all go again. [2 drinks and a whole shit load of great music blasting in your ears will get to you this point, where i stand alone]
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drug addiction. submerged since i was fourteen. unable to tell. black and white. truth or lies. jenna fischer to amy adams. infant to seniority. life or death. obeying their orders. blood shot eyes keep bleeding as i take this step. clean. disorder. plain and new. still bleeding. i say, "excuse me, mind your own business." alternate type of addiction. a sickness so the rope burns my palms. and it feels so good just to hold onto something. once more. im blinded. let me continue to hold on. this sick addiction wont let me off that easily.
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why do we need so much stuff? there is a finite amount of resources that is given to us, and yes, what we do with it is all in our hands. however, whoever thought that we could deplete it so quickly. there is so much talk about when the world is going to end and everything and everyone gets so scared. people are afraid to step out. people are afraid that they are not beautiful. people are afraid their shoes are gonna be ruined. but there are also people who are afraid of having nothing to eat. people who are afraid of their personal safety. people who are afraid of their children taken away from them. all of these fears would not be existent, if there was a balance on earth. our lifestyles have depleted almost all of earth's natural resources. why? we multiply too fast. it is not the need to consume that is killing us. it's the rate we do it at. we intake so much energy from this place we call home, we do not allow it to regenerate itself. and we allow it to happen. for those out there who do not give a shit about nature. here's a question for you. what do you think those shoes you wearing are made out of? hate to break it to you, but it doesnt come out of thin air. come to think of it. even if it did came out of the sky, it's polluted too. and what do you think caused that? the end of the world is not what is portrayed as devils and satan rummaging in the sky, nor a volcano is going to blow up earth,, but. it is symbolic to the energy and life on this planet that it is coming to an end, dying down. and all the hints have been sitting right in front of us the whole time. look around you, the stuff you have consumed in the room you're sitting in right now, it came from somewhere. the possibility of something astronomical happening vs. the possibility of the last tree falling. CLICK ON THE PICTURE TO WATCH VIDEO!!
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its nothing special. and everyone knows it. you'll cry anways, whether you're happy or you're sad, and no one will ever know, because everyone goes through the exact same thing. oh brother, cant you see? look around you, and see how many people are also crying. begging on their knees to not turn into stone. we'll never know who will be loved next. but it'll be the best feeling of all. they will all say they are that happiest person in the world, at that moment. but it's they are not the only ones, they are not singled out, everyone else around them are celebrating too, joyous occasions should be shared. so you are not special nor unique, it's the atoms around your space creating you the same way they have been doing in light years.
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would you stay up with me and count the words i type? the words i type for you expressing my feelings? the feathering feelings i have for you not realizing you are too fast. too fast for me to catch up to. to catch your visions and heart and grasp it closely. close enough to taste the skin. naked skin to make me feel so empty without you. so please slow down. and allow me to type these feelings for you before you go. would you stay?
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if everything gets out in the open, let it be. there just some things that i can't hide. that's just how i am. i cannot be this other being anymore. if you wanna exclude, go ahead. i do believe that i can live without you. it'll hurt, like it does now. but i know i'll be fine. life it is too complicated right now to deal with you. if it was due to how iam as a being that can make you stray me, then you were not worth me trying for. honestly saying i have not done anything that could make things this way. it's all up to you.
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sitting in my car waiting for the call, i laugh along. walking behind the crowd, i sing along. i dont know why i put a a smile on. when there a monster inside me. cage it in, shake it out, push it away, brush it off. i put on a smile for the one who don't matter. close my eyes and grin my pearly whites. the lines on my face spell take me away. wishing next time i see you wont be the same.
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always thought that dreams told me the truth, but who knew it was lie to me in such a great way. dreaming of lovely moments with you, and never noticed that they were rocking our setting. so fucked up, i cant even see behind the scenes. let it all out and let it spill. lies everywhere. please pinch me. i guess i dont understand why they would lie me... never push the big red button. never ever and in this dream, it never existed. but.... today, i just exploded. oh so twisted
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if you were to leave, i would feel empty inside. praying for that saint to bring you back to me. if you were to leave, i would not cry, never to make you worry, make a fist and hold in my beats. if you were to leave, i would let you go. hide in your shadows, and guide the rest of you ways, and sing the songs you love.
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as i walk along this endless path, i come up with ways to see that alluring face once again. what is the difference today? what is making my eyes close as if, something has forced the lights to turn down and bring me back into a dream. it's coming down from up above my head. it sprinkles down like rain, it sparkles bright like glitter, it the gift you always wanted, that was too big to put in a box with a bow. stardust is all around. on the ground, on the rim on my glasses, on the tip of our noses, just leave me your stardust to remember you by. and at the end of this pathway, i'll bring you to your dreams and such. your star awaits you. happy valentine's day and happy one month! =)
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what can i say, as fromage as it may, love is surely blind. in the back of my mind, is the image of your hand in mines. even with sun in my eyes, or when the clouds are filling the skies, i can and will always find my way to you. whispering softly cheek to cheek, so close, looking at you is like taking a little peek, it is the warmth of your kiss, which keeps my fire burning bright. it is you who i really miss, may i hold you tight every night? another day goes by, another thought of you crossed my mind. as the clock turns, and hours tick, i await for the sun meet the moon, so it can strike me blind. and experience the new kiss in the sun, all over again.
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your eyes radiates goodness. just like the sun after a thunderstorm. it brings out the beauty in life. as simple as one small gesture is, that is all it takes to make everything worth while. the storm is hitting hard at where i stand. but knowing that the warmth of your smile is still behind the clouds, i can still stand strong against the harshest storms.
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Nicotine valium vicodine marijuana ecstacy and alcohol Nicotine valium vicodine marijuana ecstacy and alcohol Nicotine valium vicodine marijuana ecstacy and alcohol that is all i need, to make my perfect world. perfect world exists, only in my dreams. my dreams consists of, nightmares and the voice. i dont mind being, in a nightmare now, because i know i'll wake up from it, and i can look over my shoulder, again, and see you there. or imagine you're are. Nicotine valium vicodine marijuana ecstacy and alcohol please bring me into a nightmare, one so bad where i can't wake up. until im strong enough to, realize you were never there.
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dont hate me. it's selfish, but it's for the greater good. and to forget, harsh words maybe out in place. to have a reason to do so. at first, the reason is for you. because to forget you, you being okay, needs to be a fact. and now that is passed. i need to work on self reflection. don't hate me. because im wondering if im lying. lying about my sanity. there are moments, when your image pops in front of my eyes, when your voice echoes in the back on my head. but, having these thoughts are not going to bring you back. because you are gone. nothing is within my control. because your needs are more important than mine.
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in here is the letter of your confessions, your final decision. only you know what is best for yourself. your letter will be kept dearly. like a little package inside my heart. within the creases, there are some last memories of you. you were always full of questions. but, all the blanks are filled in now. though you may never get to reach them, they are only phonecall away. on that note, promises are made to be kept. not forgotten or broken, no matter what. so if you ever need a helping hand, you will know. anytime. finally i can say out loud....i love you. one last time, goodnight, sweet dreams. =)
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i know how you love the blue skies. the skies will always be blue wherever you go. it's a gift from me. in times when you are low, you look down and the waters reflect that gorgeous view you love so much. blue skies everywhere to make you smile. keeping you feeling warm. a picture is worth a thousand words. but this picture contains a thousand of the same three words. a picture lasts longer. but somethings last forever. this may not be picture perfect but when i saw this, it just clicked.
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